Starting Out Swinging?


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15 October 2009

Sharing your Photos Online

If you are trying to meet Swingers online, one of the first things people will want to know is what you look like. You can give them your height, weight, hair color, etc., but at the end of they day they will still not have an idea of if they are attracted to you. If you want to get people interested in meeting you, providing photos online will help you be seen and help them decide much earlier if they really want to meet you sooner rather than later.

Post with Pictures
Regardless of what you are doing online, whether it is creating a profile on a Swinger website or posting an ad on Craigslist in the Casual Encounters section, you will get a HUGE increase in the number of responses you get if you include a picture. There are a few reasons for this. Many sites have a checkbox somewhere on the search options that lets you ONLY see ads or profiles with pictures. Face it -- some people are only there to look at the pictures, so if you don't have a picture then some people will never see your ad at all.  Additionally, at least one of the Swinger websites shows a random list of profiles close to your zip code when you log in and the 5 newest profiles near you, but to keep it interesting they only show the ones with photos. You're missing out on a lot of good exposure if you don't put a photo in there.  And we admit it -- we regularly do searches and skip over Swinger profiles that do NOT have photos because it can literally take hours of chatting and email swapping to figure out if we are even the least bit attracted to the people on the other end, where with photos we are much closer to that point of knowing almost instantly.

Pictures of What Part of You?
If you are new to the scene and want to share photos either as a part of an ad, a profile, or via email with people you are corresponding with, do yourself a favor and follow this rule-of-thumb:
  • Keep your face photos clothed.
  • Keep your face out of your nude photos. 
If you have the kind of job and family where it's no big deal if by some "internet oops" they happened upon pictures of you with your face on your naked body, then this does not apply to you. But for the rest of us, leave the face out of nude / naked / x-rated pictures until you have been doing this for a while since you never REALLY know who is on the other side of the Craigslist ad. Swingers are usually VERY good at not spreading photos around, but there are people on Craigslist that are NOT Swingers and are not always careful about who they share their photos with.

Editing Your Photos
If you are taking digital photos now to use online, it's not that hard to simply make sure that your nude photos show only your body and not your face.  You can be pretty creative about how you do that, so if you are a couple taking pictures of each other, make that part of the fun.  Whipped cream has been proven to be effective. LOL! However, if you have digital photos already taken that you want to use, you have a few options on how to get your faces out of your photos.

The first option is to simply make the digital image smaller using a process called Cropping.  When you Crop a digital photo you basically choose a rectangle on your photo that you want to keep and get rid of the rest.  If you have a nude photo of you standing in a doorway, you would crop the photo so the top edge of the photo starts around your chin or your neck and no longer includes your face.

My favorite way to Crop a photo on my computer is using the free Google photo browser and editor called Picasa found at http://picasa.google.com/ .  You install this on your computer and it quickly finds and makes a list of mini-photos (called thumbnails) that you can quickly scroll through to find the photos you want.  When you choose a single photo you can click on Edit and are given lists of things you can do to the photo, including Crop it.  Once you have edited the photo you can choose to Export it and it will save the new version of the photo separately and even allow you to save it as a smaller version, which is helpful if you are sending it as a reply to a Craigslist ad which only allows you to send very small photos.  After you Export the new photo you can undo all the changes and get your original photo back.  You may have other photo editors on your computer that you already use -- check and see if they can do this too.

A similar cropping process is sometimes even offered by some websites when you upload a photo.  Yahoo Mail now allows you to crop a photo that you've attached to an email.  If you are using the SwingLifeStyle website, they actually have photo-editing capabilities built into the site so you can upload and Crop your photo, or even do what we will talk about next.

A slightly more advanced way to keep your face hidden on a photo is to cover the face.  You can do this by covering the face area of a photo with a solid color or pattern, blurring it, or scrambling it in some other way.  This is somewhat preferred because it gives more "genuineness" to the photo seeing more of what is around you. If you have already bought a photo editor for your computer that can do this then you probably don't need instructions.  If you don't have anything already, there are a few free options.  The first again is the SwingLifeStyle website where you can use the "Hide Identity" feature of the photo editor to blur the face beyond recognition.  If you have used Photoshop, Photopaint, PhotoDraw, etc. and want to try a free program, download and install GIMP.  To edit a photo for free using only your web browser you can register at Picture2Life and use the Pixelate feature to scramble the face area and then save the changed photo back on your computer.

Any of these options are good.  It's only a matter of how much time do you want to spend getting the results you want.  The bottom-line is that if you want to increase your chances of people being interested in meeting you, take the time to get at least one good-looking photo of you that you can share with others.

Cock Photos?
One note on men taking close-up photos of their "best friend".  You are probably expecting me to say how gross they are and don't ever post a photo of just your cock.  Well ... that's not what I'm going to say. The fact is that there really are women out there looking for something different than what they have at home, or what they are used to.  I'll cover it more in other sections, but I have talked to enough women in the Swinging lifestyle to know that the size of a guy's cock, both in length and in thickness, as well as the shape, CAN  really matter to women.  If you are a single guy, sooner or later the lady is going to want to see the merchandise, so showing what you have up front may get you more interest from the ladies that play with single guys.  If anyone is offended by the photo, then Swinging may not be the right lifestyle for them.  If you are a guy that is part of a couple wanting to play with other couples, you may want to hold on to that cock photo until it is asked for since there are usually much more important factors to figure out in determining attraction between couples other than what your cock looks like.

Camera Phones
If you are going to use the camera on your phone to get pictures of yourself or your partner for sharing online, do yourself a favor and get in good lighting.  The better the lighting on the person being photographed the less chance the photo will blur from the movement of your hand holding the camera phone.  That means bathrooms are usually NOT the best place to take photos.  Get in sunlight if at all possible.  Also, look on the back of the phone where the little glass lens is and make sure it is clean.  If you see smudges, dust, or dirt then use a corner of a napkin or pinch a cotton shirt and rub the lens to get it clean.  If you keep your phone in your pocket, chances are it could use a good cleaning. 

Have Fun!
Your photos are an important part of getting people interested in you, but remember that they can also be a fun part of spicing up things in your relationship.  Some of the hottest sex we have had has been after I've taken photos of my wife naked in the living room, flashing in public (Washington DC and by the "Welcome To" state signs on the side of the highway!!), or just stripping down naked in the woods or by a lake.  Make it fun.  Share a few online so you can get compliments from the people that like what you look like.  In fact, do yourself a favor and take a sexy photo without your face on your camera phone and send it to your partner during the day at work and see what things are like that night in bed.  You may be surprised!

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