A Revelation About Playing Separately

What could be more fun and rewarding for a couple than to spice up their sex life by playing together with other couples or singles?  Getting to watch your partner from a vantage point other than "right on top of them" during sex is something that few people in our country actually get to experience.  And being able to talk about the shared experiences you both had at the same time can fuel conversations for weeks and months to come.

That is how we started out, and it made sense.  We had the reassurance and security of having each other in the same room, watching out for each other, and finding other couples to play with was relatively easy.  Bur now that we are approaching 9 years involved in swinging, we have learned a LOT more about what we are each looking for in our play partners, and finding a guy that SHE likes and a girl that I like that are actually together started becoming increasingly difficult over the years.  So even though in the beginning we never thought it would happen, as our experience and comfort levels grew along with our "pickiness" for our play partners, we started finding ourselves saying "Hey, go play with so-and-so ... I'm gonna chill out here while you play."  In other words, we started "playing separately".

How Swinging Will Destroy Our Economy (Humor)

While watching a movie recently that was obviously a cautionary tale about how the road to hell is paved with good intentions, a wife tries to help a girl get back on her feet by letting her move in as their nanny only to find she is a prostitute.  Needless to say, that causes trouble and nearly ends the marriage and the marriage of some friends as well even though the host couple never had sex with the girl.  At the end of the movie we were kinda pissed off that they didn't have a 3-some, or the girl even experiment with the host couple, let alone live happily ever after in a polyamorous relationship, but we quickly realized that would have gone totally against the premise of the movie and the moral of the story, the movie would have ended way differently, and the movie would have fallen apart.  In other words, swinging would break Hollywood.

"Safe Words" for Couples

Even if you are going to a swinger club or party with no intention of talking to or playing with anyone, there is always a chance that one or both of you can end up in a situation that you want to get out of.  But how do you get the point across to your partner in a way that is clear and yet discrete?  You don't want to offend people or make a scene if you can let your partner know you are uncomfortable quietly.

The preferred method to do this is to establish a "Safe Word", or "Code Word" that only you and your partner know about that is uncommon but could be used in a conversation without seeming suspicious.  For example, if you chose the words "baby bottle" it is reasonable for either of you in the middle of a conversation to say something like "hey, honey, did you leave the baby bottle for the sitter?"  The key is for the two of you to talk about the Safe Word you have chosen and be very familiar with it.  Be ready to use it if you really need it, but don't tell your swinger friends what the word is.  You really don't want it to be common knowledge in case you have to use it when your friends are around.

What do you do if your partner uses your Safe Word?  What seems to work best is to just ask your partner to go with you somewhere, like to the bathroom, to get a drink, to the locker room, anything that make sense in the setting you are in.  If that is not feasible, try to figure out what situation is causing your partner to be uncomfortable.  If they are in a conversation you could try to insert yourself into the conversation and change the subject and talk directly to the person you think is causing the issue to divert their attention to you and away from your partner.  A good last resort is to just make a scene of some kind ... just walk over and start kissing your partner, act like you have a cramp, drop something on the floor, spill a drink, whatever it takes.  Your primary responsibility is to keep your partner feeling safe and comfortable, and if you have to cause a little embarrassment for yourself to do that it is usually a good investment.

So, practice your Safe Words, be safe in general, and keep having fun!

Two Swinger Couples Walk Into a Bar...

Two swinger couples walk into a bar.  They all go up to the bartender and each couple points at the other and says "We'll have what they are having!"

LOL!  It's taken a long time, but this is the best we can come up with for a real swinger joke since we were unable to find any on the internet or elsewhere.  Hope you enjoy it!

Why do you come to the Club?

Walking up to people at a swinger club and talking to them can be one of the most intimidating things in the world for individuals who are not total extroverts.  If that is how you feel, then there is an easy solution for that, and we were shocked at how simple it was when we discovered it.  The solution is to ask the right question.

Condoms, Bareback, and Latex Allergies

If you decide that you are a full-swap couple, sooner or later you will have to deal with the issue of what your "rule" is about using condoms when you have intercourse with someone that is not your normal partner.  Couples usually end up in one of three categories:  Bareback, Condoms Required, or Condoms Optional. If you have latex allergies, we have some tips for you too, but in general it still complicates things a bit.

Approaching Couples at a Club

This isn't meant to be a comprehensive guide, but a reminder of the #1 important thing to remember for those who are dealing with a couple, which is ...you are dealing with a couple.  The bottom-line is this:

If the person you want to play with is part of a couple, spend time talking to BOTH of them.  If you don't and you are rejected, don't be surprised.

The Irony of Monogamy

While it is true that some noble creatures such as the locally abundant Canada Goose are almost totally monogamous and mate for life, we might not want to point to them as a model of how we should behave as a society.  They also like to poop all over parking lots, sidewalks, and the ground, and can be equally noisy and vicious in certain circumstances.  And besides, almost all other types of animals are very non-monogamous, so there is actually more of an incentive to follow that trend if we are studying our animal friends.

However, I did run across an interesting article by a writer in Cleveland that does touch on a lot of the "artificial" hidden forces at work in societies today that insist on monogamy in humans.  That article is HERE.  Enjoy!

Go Topless in Ohio

If you visit a beach at one of the Ohio State Parks, it is quite possible (and legal) for you to look over and see a bit more skin than you expected.  Both men and women are allowed to wear as little as a thong and be totally topless anywhere on park land, including the public beaches, in the water, campgrounds, hiking trails, etc..  Currently it is not very common to see topless women (or "topfree" as some prefer), or men and women in a thong bathing suit, but it is a privilege that some people do take advantage of both for "tan line" reasons, and just to enjoy the feeling of freedom.

Please just stop the Club War

We are very sorry to say that this is kind of a sad time to be a swinger in Cincinnati.  We are personally noticing that there appears to be a war going on involving Cincinnati swinger clubs.  Rather than focusing on what the swingers want, we have seen some pretty harsh words lately aimed at trying to scare swingers away from one club and hopefully toward another, apparently because one club is seriously hurting financially and is using scare tactics and negative rumors in their desperation.  And yes, it does appear very one-sided, but we swingers are caught in the middle and are the ultimate losers here.  Let us say now, we are sorry that you are having to go through this, and we hope it ends soon.

It's a common saying:  "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."  We try to follow that ourselves, and our suggestion to you is that if you see or hear people trying to make another swinger club in Cincinnati look or sound bad, be VERY suspicious.  Listen to the good things people are saying about a swinger club.  Ignore the bad stuff people say about a swinger club because they probably have an agenda.

Flasher-friendly Bars Around Cincinnati

We decided to post an ad on Craigslist to find out where to go if we wanted to let the wife do a little friendly flashing and actually be noticed versus try to do it and not get caught.  A side-hobby of ours is taking photos of her flashing in interesting and fun public places, such as roadsides, rivers, parks, restaurants, etc..  Doing it discretely for photos is fine, but sometimes it is also exciting to see people react, appreciate, and enjoy the "free show" that she puts on.

Hello! But No Goodbye?

To everyone that we know, Goodbye!!!

There, we said it.  So now, anytime we leave a swinger club and we didn't get a chance to come find you and personally say goodbye, please use this one instead.  :-)

Remember To Shave

This kind of goes under the "too obvious to mention" category, but here we go mentioning it.  Before you meet up with your swinger friends (or potential swinger friends), if you shave, try to shave right before you go.  This means both guys and girls.  So, let me 'splain. No, there's too much.  Let me sum up. ...

Take a Shower, Read a Book

A recent trip to a store where we were waited upon by a friendly but rather smelly cashier reminded us of something that may seem like it goes without saying, but it needs to be said:

If there is any chance you are going to play, TAKE A SHOWER.

Going to Club 440

There are a lot of aspects to consider when deciding to go to a Swinger club, and Club 440 is no exception.  Here is a list of a lot of the common questions and helpful tips for those that have never been to Club 440 before (or never been to any Swinger club, for that matter).  Before heading there, check out the club's website at http://www.club440online.com/ to confirm pricing, hours, rules, and events, since the article you are about to read is not associated with or maintained by Club 440 in any form.

Sharing your Photos Online

If you are trying to meet Swingers online, one of the first things people will want to know is what you look like. You can give them your height, weight, hair color, etc., but at the end of they day they will still not have an idea of if they are attracted to you. If you want to get people interested in meeting you, providing photos online will help you be seen and help them decide much earlier if they really want to meet you sooner rather than later.

Getting Started Swinging

What is Swinging?  My favorite definition of Swinging is people in committed relationships openly engaging in sexual activity with people outside of their committed relationships. Swinging takes on many forms involving married couples, engaged couples, dating couples, single guys, and single women, so it is a bit tricky to cover all the ways it can happen.

Swinger Personals Websites

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About Us

We are just your average couple in Cincinnati with kids in school, cats in the house, and a minivan in the driveway. Our co-workers would agree that we are intense in our work and fierce in our devotion to our family. What our family and co-workers don't realize is that as of April of 2009 we are quite different than most of them. We are now Swingers.